Last night was hard for Kelly and I. We sat and talked on the couch as our two children lay asleep in their beds, knowing how blessed we were that we had two healthy children. As Kelly and I sat next to each other, doing a few last minute Christmas shopping on our computers, I came across again a video a friend gave me of Samuel’s time last year and Kel and I stopped to watch. I actually had the link on here for a few days but didn’t have the courage to listen to it for some reason. Last night I did. Last night I wept. Last night again I was reminded that God alone is sovereign over all and in all and through all circumstances; but more impacting, that He loves us so.
In the video, Pastor Jon McNeff had read my blog I had written the morning Samuel passed away. I will include a small portion of it here as it still strikes me:
I want you to know Lord that I believe with all my heart that you can heal my son Samuel. Yes Lord, even now YOU are that God who heals. After the doctors and surgeons told me that there was nothing left they could do, I finally heard truth and knew without a doubt that there is only One who can; and that’s you Father. In your glorious might, would you heal Samuel? Let the x-rays show that there is still lung there, that it’s not only there, but able to sustain life. Let all the staff be surprised by your healing and let you be glorified in this.
Yes, this healing would indeed show your glory. But Father, I know you do not “need” this display of your glory. The truth is, WE do. And life is not about us or our needs; the rocks will cry out in your glory if we do not. I trust you Father, and you know what’s best and that’s far beyond our understanding.
A verse that hits me at this moment is Mark 9.30. I know I have recently wrote about this, but let me say it again, “They went on from there and passed through Galilee. And he did not want anyone to know, for he was teaching his disciples…” He was teaching them the most profound reality and purpose of His life; that of His death and resurrection so as to overcome our sin. I just can’t get away from something, however, as it struck me last night and it seems to attack me right now.
Jesus is glorious; He is not only the Son of God, but God as well. He is the second member of the trinity, the High and Holy voice that spoke creation into being. And here He is walking along hidden paths or places where most people would not frequent. He wanted to pour into His disciples; He wanted to be intimate with them and actually disciple them. Throughout the course of the life of Christ, we see miracle after miracle proclaiming the glorious reality of the Kingdom of Heaven in the person of Jesus Christ. Heaven came down in flesh, and fulfilled what we could not.
But Christ, as He encountered need and healed lives, knew the greatest need was not healing of our physical bodies, but our spiritual lives; reconciling us to the Father. He never needed to perform those miracles; the people did. There was an inherent need in them for Christ to “prove” Himself to them, but He alone is testimony enough of His glorious truth. He did not need to prove Himself. He did not need to perform miracles. He does not need to do anything; God is completely whole and satisfied in Himself. We are the ones who need Christ. We are the ones who need to be discipled. We are the ones who need healing. We are the ones who need His precious resources of strength. We are the ones who need the cross. We are the ones who need the truth of the resurrection. We are the ones who need His act to efficaciously grant us mercy and forgiveness. We need the miracles. We need the love. We need the mercy. We need everything that is Christ.
I am speaking to myself. Let me be reminded of this. I am the one who is desperately needing Jesus Christ to intervene in my life at this present moment. I need Him; He does not need me, and He does not need us.
Knowing how much we need, Christ out of love did the impossible. Hebrews 12.2-3, “Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.” When I say He did the impossible, I mean He impossibly loved us. He loved those who hated Him. He loved those who needed Him so desperately without even knowing it.
It is the love of Christ that I see in all of this. I am humbled; I need it so much. I can’t search for it in any other way, only at His feet and in His word. The reality is that Christ, through the Holy Spirit, beckons us to abide in Him intimately. We are called into a glorious relationship with Jesus Christ; not a religiosity, but a relationship. I need this right now. I need His love and His compassion. Please Lord, forgive me that I ever presume upon you. I need you Jesus. You are my hiding place and my refuge from this storm.
2 Corinthians 2.8-9, “For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” Even Paul despaired even of life, to be shown that it was not about him or his strength, but the Lord’s.
Lord, raise our hearts that are burdened to the point of despair. I do not want to rely on myself, but on Your mighty shoulders. Help us to keep our eyes focused on you. Help me to know that you are with me. You are my Intimate King and I bless your name. God I miss Samuel. I need Jesus Christ and His love to intervene.
“Yet, though He doesn’t ‘need us’, isn’t the truth of Christmas that He so loves us He came for us, He wants us, not out of need, but out of love? That’s what’s so amazing He wants us with a love so strong that He created eternity for us to share it. A love so pure, that He gave His only Son for us to have the right to it. It was not need for us that brought Him, it was love. It’s a love that also knows we have eternity to share it, and as we understand eternity it’s just the beginning of sharing in a love that will never end. Amazing.” – Byron MacDonald